The O.C. 214: The Rainy Day Women

Seth & Summer

Seth finally got Summer back. Capt. Oats and Princess Sparkle had their happy ending... for now.

Embarrassing as it may sound... the ending made me cry.

I think I need some chocolate fix right now!

Therapeutic Session

Due to emotional stress combined with the pending MRR deadline… I experienced a nervous breakdown. I gave up working on our business plan and drove to Robinson’s Galleria for some RETAIL THERAPY to help me get back in focus.

First stop was Charles & Keith for the black, flat mary janes I’ve been dreaming about for the past two weeks. I’ve been imagining myself wearing it with my colored tights and mini skirts. Then I went to check out my usual hunting spots: VNC, Chocolate, Circa, stores at the 5th Avenue, Top Shop, and Terranova where I was able to snag a pair of army green cords for only P299! How could I go wrong with that price?! There was also a new store, Blue Navy, I checked out. I ended up buying a pair of army green capris. As you can tell, army green is my IT color of the moment. I felt better after all the shopping I did but my feet couldn’t stop moving! I went back to Charles & Keith and bought the brown monogram sandals. After that, I finally felt totally refreshed and ready to take on the daunting task of finishing my MRR!

But that’s not the only therapy I did… I got some BEAUTY THERAPY too. I went to Basecut Salon where I always get my hair done. With just a few snips off my bangs, I finally got the anime-look I was aiming for! With my black mary janes, mini skirt, and classic white top… I could pass off as a school girl! Which I hear is such a turn on for some guys… I also had my eyebrow threaded. When I wake up later, I will end my therapy with a visit to the derma.

And despite of looking like a ditz for putting a picture of stuff I got, I will still post it so I can look at it while to inspire me to finish our MRR.


My Therapy Finds!

In Denial

I have more weird conversations that I'd like to share. Again... identity must remain hidden.

G: parents don't have sex!
C: yeah! believe that. like they believe you don't have sex!
G: my parents are virgins!
C: ...then how come you're here?
G: immaculate conception!

...And this coming from an MBA student!

Chick Conversation

Listen in a conversation of two chicks! This is an actual conversation, thus, we have to hide their identities...

A: maybe texting here is so expensive
A: coz i don't ask how much is a text here
C: i think it's more expensive!
A: i just text and text!
A: spoiled brat
C: people think i'm such a princess
C: whenever i tell them my mom sends food and clothes whenever i need it
A: it's not our fault we're such spoiled brats!
C: that's right!
C: i mean... they should blame our parents!
A: for me, it's just my reward for making them proud!
A: it's pretty tough!
C: and doing everything they want!
A: hahaha!
A: yesss!!!!
C: yeah... like... they want me to get a nose job... so i did! i'm such a nice daughter!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A: you know what... i kinda like it when people call me a ditz!
A: hahaha!
A: it's not really an insult!
C: i know!
C: the image of a ditz has evolved to more than just blond and big boobs... coz we obviously don't have that!!!
A: yes! it's more global!

Panic Mode

MBA2005 is officially on panic mode as the MRR deadline draws near. I opted to stay here in the dorm last weekend attempting to do as much work as I could. And by the looks of it, I may have to stay here again this weekend! I miss my reality t.v. shows... I miss my lovely bathroom... and most of all, I miss my puppies! They're probably running around the house and doing their cute little barks by now.

I know no matter how much work my partner and I do, our gurus -- Prof. Morato and Prof. Bernardo, III -- will still find something wrong with our paper.

To our friends... we ask for your prayers and support!!! Oh... and to our parents... you really don't need to see us march do you?!

ALANIS MORISSETTE: You Oughta Know

Alisa has requested me to put this song here in my blog... hmmm... I wonder why?! Women have very devious minds. And no amount of psycho-analysis can help men figure us out!

I want you to know, that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theatre
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother

Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, till you died
But you're still alive

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her

Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, til you died
But you're still alive

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

Diaspora

This is not the first time a roomate of mine left. About fifteen years ago, my mother's youngest sister who lived with us for most of her life migrated to the US because her petition came. Being the youngest, I think my mom treated her more like a daughter than a sister. She was only a few years older than me, thus, I also treated her like my ate more than an aunt. We fought like sisters and we were as close as sisters. I adored being around her. We went to the same school and I remember I'd wait for her no matter how late it was, just so we can go home together.

I was eleven when she left, and the night before she left, I was devastated. It was like my heart was being torn in half. I was thinking how I could survive being alone, an empty bed reminding me of her absence. I remember making my mom cry too because I couldn't stop crying till she left the next day. As she went in the car, I was still clinging to her. Every night after that, I would carry my sleeping little brother to her bed late at night because I couldn't bear being alone in our bedroom. He would wake up surprise to find himslef in my bedroom instead of his. It took a long time before I got over her leaving. There were nights I would cry myself to sleep because I was missing her so much.

Now, she has three lovely daughters. They're my favorite baby girls because they're so affectionate. Whenever I would visit them in the US, they'd fight over who would sleep beside their ate.

But this is not the end of it. Another of my mom's sister and her family will be migrating soon too. They're actually our last relatives here. They're just waiting for the papers and will move to Illinois. Eventually, all my mom's sisters will move there. Even my grandmother and her husband. And we will be having white christmases in a few years since it will be easier for us to visit them than them coming here in the Philippines. But it will take awhile because we can't leave our sick grandfather behind.

I will probably cry again. My ten-year old cousin, the youngest, is closest to me because I got to take care of him from infancy. Sometimes he'd call me and use his charms to get what he wants... movies, new toy, or Jollibee Chicken Joy.

I post here Patricia Evangelista's winning speech "A Borderless World" which seems to echo my sentiments right now.

When I was little, I wanted what many Filipino children all over the country wanted. I wanted to be blond, blue-eyed and white.

I thought -- if I just wished hard enough and was good enough, I'd wake up on Christmas morning with snow outside my window and freckles across my nose!

More than four centuries under western domination can do that to you. I have 16 cousins. In a couple of years, there will just be five of us left in the Philippines, the rest will have gone abroad in search of "greener pastures." It's not an anomaly; it's a trend; the Filipino diaspora. Today, about eight million Filipinos are scattered around the world.There are those who disapprove of Filipinos who choose to leave. I used to. Maybe this is a natural reaction of someone who was left behind, smiling for family pictures that get emptier with each succeeding year. Desertion, I called it. My country is a land that has perpetually fought for the freedom to be itself. Our heroes offered their lives in the struggle against the Spanish, the Japanese, the Americans. To pack up and deny that identity is tantamount to spitting on that sacrifice.

Or is it? I don't think so. Not anymore.

True, there is no denying this phenomenon, aided by the fact that what was once the other side of the world is now a 12-hour plane ride away. But this is a borderless world, where no individual can claim to be purely from where he is now. My mother is of Chinese descent, my father is a quarter Spanish, and I call myself a pure Filipino -- a hybrid of sorts resulting from a combination of cultures.

Each square mile anywhere in the world is made up of people of different ethnicities, with national identities and individual personalities. Because of this, each square mile is already a microcosm of the world. In as much as this blessed spot that is England is the world, so is my neighborhood back home.

Seen this way, the Filipino Diaspora, or any sort of dispersal of populations, is not as ominous as so many claim. It must be understood. I come from a Third World country, one that is still trying mightily to get back on its feet after many years of dictatorship. But we shall make it, given more time. Especially now, when we have thousands of eager young minds who graduate from college every year. They have skills. They need jobs. We cannot absorb them all.

A borderless world presents a bigger opportunity, yet one that is not so much abandonment but an extension of identity. Even as we take, we give back. We are the 40,000 skilled nurses who support the United Kingdom's National Health Service. We are the quarter-of-a-million seafarers manning most of the world's commercial ships. We are your software engineers in Ireland, your construction workers in the Middle East, your doctors and caregivers in North America, and, your musical artists in London's West End.

Nationalism isn't bound by time or place. People from other nations migrate to create new nations, yet still remain essentially who they are. British society is itself an example of a multi-cultural nation, a melting pot of races, religions, arts and cultures. We are, indeed, in a borderless world!

Leaving sometimes isn't a matter of choice. It's coming back that is. The Hobbits of the shire traveled all over Middle-Earth, but they chose to come home, richer in every sense of the word. We call people like these balikbayans or the "returnees" -- those who followed their dream, yet choose to return and share their mature talents and good fortune.

In a few years, I may take advantage of whatever opportunities that come my way. But I will come home. A borderless world doesn't preclude the idea of a home. I'm a Filipino, and I'll always be one. It isn't about geography; it isn't about boundaries. It's about giving back to the country that shaped me.

And that's going to be more important to me than seeing snow outside my window on a bright Christmas morning.

Mabuhay and thank you.

My Best Friend's Wedding OST: I'LL BE OKAY

For the past several days I've been slaving away my thesis in the library, this album has been my company. And now... I dedicate it to my girlfriend in Copenhagen... yes dear, I feel your pain! Men are schmucks sometimes! Maybe he'll still come around... Have fun there and see you soon!

It's time to let you go
It's time to say goodbye
There's no more excuses
No more tears to cry

There's been so many changes
I was so confused
All along you were the one
All the time I never knew

I want you to be happy
You're my best friend
But it's so hard to let you go now
All that could have been
I'll always have the memories
She'll always have you
Fate has a way of changing
Just when you don't want it to

Throw away the chains
Let love fly away
Till love comes again
I'll be okay

Life passes so quickly
You gotta take the time
Or you'll miss what really matters
You'll miss all the signs
I've spent my life searching
For what was always there
Sometimes it will be too late
Sometimes it won't be fair

I won't give up
I won't give in
I can't recreate what just might have been
I know that my heart will find love again
Now is the time to begin

I can't hold on forever baby
I'll be okay

Manila, Manila

I've always been bad with directions. I usually know how to get to some place but can't figure how to get back... maybe some sort of dyslexia. Today, the venture partners, that's Tintin and I, had another road trip. This time our destination was suppose to be Bambang along the LRT. All we had to do was follow the LRT right?! Wrong!!! Missed a turn ended up in Quiapo and then Espana. Then we went all around to get to Bambang. I got caught by some traffic enforcer because I beat the red light because I was looking at the wrong stop light. The partner of the big, pot-bellied guy said we were obviously lost, gave us directions, and then asked us for snack money. The hell! So I gave P100 instead because that was the smallest bill I had in my wallet. When we finally saw Bambang we had to still drive around several times to look for a parking and ended up entering a one way road.

I just borrowed my brother's car for the afternoon while he was still in the office. We got back a little late because of the traffic too. We walked from Dela Costa to AIM because my brother didn't want to drive us back to school... he had a date. He offered to pay my cab... duh?! Some to think of it, I should've taken the money to get back what I gave those stupid traffic guys.

All in all... another fun-filled day doing my thesis!

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Would life be easier if we could erase memories... people, events, and places... that we would want to forget? In this movie, a procedure called Lacuna was suppose to do just that. Joel (Jim Carrey) and Clementine (Kate Winslet) tried to erase each other from their memories when cracks started showing in their relationship. But somehow while under the procedure, Joel found a way to sneak several memories in other parts of his brain. I guess, no matter how much his mind would want to forget... his heart won't let him.

My friends know I hate regrets and I never regretted anything I did or didn't do (I know some people hate this about me) because there's no one else to blame for those decisions except myself. But, I do have several memories I'd like to forget. Just to ease the sadness... or embarrassment whenever I remember.

I wonder how many people would erase me from their memory if they could... and I also wonder how much of my life's painful or lonely experiences I would want to forget...

The Angst-y Kelly

I'm lovin' Kelly Clarkson lately. Saw the video of this song and remembered the days when I used to be into the angst-filled songs of Alanis Morisette.

SINCE YOU'VE BEEN GONE

Here's the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone

You dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah Yeah
Since you've been gone

And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say

But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since you've been gone

How can I put it? you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone

How come I never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way

But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get I get what I want
Since you've been gone

You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again

Since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get
I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know)
That I get I get what I want
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone

Finding Love All Around

I just finished watching Outback Jack. Just one of the few reality shows with men and women supposedly finding each other through a series of tests and eliminations. Finding love now has been a commodity taken advantage by producers... Who Wants To Marry My Dad, Meet My Folks, Mr. Personality, The Bachelor, and The Bachelorette, are some stupid shows that think they could hook up people and give them the "happily ever after" everybody's been looking for. Can two people really be forced to fall in love in an artificially made up world?!

As if it's not hard enough to find the love the regular way...

Guy-Lit

I just finished reading one of the three books I gave Martin for his birthday. It's one of those I call guy-literature, male version of Bridget Jones. It's kinda weird reading from a guy's perspective, but it was refreshing nonetheless. Lots of quotable lines.

"Everybody loves a lover but too many lack the Staying Power. Love should be fatal. You should never recover from it. If you can, then it wasn't love."

-- Will Kelly from "The Legendary Girlfriend"

Food Trip

I'm probably PMS-ing because I've been craving for all sorts of food lately...

1. isaw - Grilled intestines of pig or chicken. Specifically from Mang Larry's Isawan beside the post office in UP (University of the Philippines). Dipped in their very own home-made vinegar.
2. Chocolates - Mars, Snickers, and Violet Crumble
3. Chicken Joy - I found out a two-piece Chicken Joy Meal now costs P105!!!
4. Candy Cane - I missed this out last Christmas
5. Cotton Candy - The huge ones!
6. FIC (Fruits in Ice Cream) - I'm loyal to Rocky Road but I love Dulce de Leche too
7. Twin Popsies - Orange flavor
8. Honey Cake - I hate Red Ribbon! They don't wanna sell it by slice!

I remember when I was in high school, my friends (Lego Gang) and I would stay late in school and pool in whatever money we had left. Then we'd buy all sorts of junk food from the canteen (a.k.a. caf for the konyo people). We'd slump on the floor in front of our class room, junk food strewn all around us, and we'd play stupid games till the last bus trip home.

I wonder what brought that memory back to me?

I'm definitely PMS-ing!