THE GOOD KIND - One Tree Hill OST

Do you wanna run away together?'
I would say it was your best line ever.
Too bad I fell for it...
And I walked along,
Waiting for you to come along.
Take my tortured heart by the hand.
And write me off.

Do you know I cry?
Do you know I die?
Do you know I cry?
And it's not the good kind...

You forced me to become strong.
And I just cried, being weak.
And you think you know.
And I would like to think so,
But do you know that when you go,
I fall apart.

Do you know I cry?
Do you know I die?
Do you know I cry?
And it's not the good kind.
No, it's not the good kind...

I'm tired of hiding behind these lying eyes,
I'm tired of this smile that even I don't recognize.

Do you know I cry?
Do you know I die?
Do you know I cry?
Do you know I cry?
And it's not the good kind...

Do you know I cry?
Do you know I die?
Do you know I cry?
Do you know I cry?
And it's not the good kind...
No, you're not the good kind.
Good kind
No, you're not the good kind.
Good kind
No, you're not the good kind.

The heaven is crying tonight...

... and its making me so happy. I immediately ran out to my terrace and listened as the first minutes of rain fell. Not that I'd want the summer season to finally end. But the sound and smell of rain always reminded me of my childhood... playing in the rain, eating champorado, and just simply staying in my room tucked in bed with a trashy romance novel to keep me company.

It makes me think of the heaven washing away all the dirt and grime in the world. A feeling of hope that eventually, everything will be okay.

Or the souls of heartbroken godesses crying for their lost love. And the only thing they could do was weep.

It's been an hour and the rain hasn't stopped yet. I think I'm finally going to sleep well tonight.

The Devil Wears Prada...

Ever since my six-year relationship ended the first time, I can count in one hand the times I've gone to mass. During the troubling times of our break up, Tini found solace in his faith. And I think, I lost mine. Even when we weren't together anymore, Tini would encourage me to go to mass, either with him or alone. I always found an excuse not to go. But the more he tried to convince me to go, the more I didn't want to.

Typical me... the more I'm pushed... the more I pull away.

But I was never a religious person to begin with. I found my own style of praying, of worshipping, of being one of Him.

I want to go to mass because my heart is answering His call.

I want to go to mass because I want to.

I will go to mass again... but in my own time. For me, praying is more spiritual than religious. I'd feel even worse going to mass without my heart in it. But I think I'm slowly finding my way back. Surprisingly, it's because of Tini. Maybe working on being at peace with each other helps.

I was talking to a friend about how much we admire people who have so much passion in their faith... I told her we have the same level of passion only on clothes, make up, and boys...

C: we're probably be going straight to hell... pero fashionable nga lang!
A: tayo yung bound to hell girls in LV bag, Burberry coats, and etc etc

Re. COMFORTING TALKS

Lately I've been chatting with a friend of mine from grad school. It's probably because we have nothing else to do at the moment that we go online the same time... which is most of the time. We never really had talk-talks. I didn't hang out with her as often as I did with others. But whenever we did find ourselves in the zen talking to each other, it was always about something deep, existential, or even philosophical. It was mostly about life.

It's no different now. We just do it online. Buzzing each other in messenger or reading each others' blog.

It's comforting to talk to someone who knows how you feel and understands where you're coming from.

It's just another Zen after all.

UNTIL I GET OVER YOU - Christina Milian

A friend of mine said goodbye to a special friend a few days ago. I know she's been feeling out of sorts about it. Maybe it was serendipity but I heard this song and remembered her.

Woke up today thinking of you
Another night that I made my way through
So many dreams still left in my mind
But they can never come true
I press rewind and remember when
I close my eyes and I’m with you again
But in the end I can still feel the pain ­ every time I hear your name

The sun won’t shine since you went away
Seems like the rain’s falling every day
There’s just one heart, where there once was two
But that’s the way it’s gotta be, ‘til I get over you…

Walked through the park, in the evening air
I heard a voice and I thought you were there
I run away but I just can’t escape
Memories of you everywhere
They say that time will dry the tears
But true love burns for a thousand years
Give my tomorrows for one yesterday
Just to know that I could have you here

When will this river of tears stop fallin’
Where can I run so I won’t feel alone
Can’t walk away when the pain keeps callin’
I’ve just gotta take it from here on my own
But it’s so hard to let go