Surprisingly, I do agree.
For more than two months I have juggled between Canada and US. The restlessness I felt after finishing school has now been replaced with the need to stay in one place. And although there are places where I'd rather be, what I need now is the comfort of my own room, my own house, and my own bed. My soul needs healing and the familiar surroundings of home may just do the trick.
This has been an amazing vacation for me. Although there is deep sadness saying goodbye to people who really took care of me, most especially my Tita Cecile and Tito Eli who treated me like a real daughter. Having three sons, they had fun having a girl around the house. There were tears shed when they dropped me off at the airport. Until now, while waiting for my flight back to the Philippines here in San Francisco, they would call and check on me. Reminding me how much they miss my presence.
I'm also sad to say goodbye again to my childhood friend, their oldest son. As kids, our lives began the same. We were only months apart and grew up literally, next to each other (our houses were behind each other). We were always at each others' birthday parties, we studied in the same pre-school, and we were constant playmates. They left when we were about 10 years old and growing up in different countries the next seventeen years, our lives couldn't have been more different.
Meeting him again, I saw part of ourselves remained the same and the others, well, we enjoyed discovering our differences. Despite the fact that he grew up in Canada, he remained conservative and traditional in some ways. He matured (somewhat...) significantly. Working two jobs and buying a house. He's such a heartthrob! Girls at his office (and gays as well...) would literally throw themselves at him. It's quite pathetic actually. While here I am, still struggling with my unemployment status, living with parents, and probably years away from walking down the aisle with a groom waiting by the altar. I'm not jealous though, because even with my chaotic life right now, I can honestly say I'm happy. Deep inside I know everything will fall into place and eventually, I'll get there wherever he is now. I'll get a job. I'll be able to afford to move out. And whether I'm single or attached, I can still be my own person. Of course, I'm hoping after we part ways my friend will find happiness in his own way. I have to keep tabs on him because it will take probably years before I see him again! It was just great finding my playmate again!
Two months ago, I was looking for a silver lining after not getting my visa for Europe. I don't think I've found it yet, but that doesn't mean I'll stop looking for one. After all life is full of surprises. For now, I'm content to have fun memories of my travels here in Canada and US.
Lost internet access for more than a week in Canada. Glad to finally update this blog!
24 years ago...
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