Wednesday, May 05, 2004


First year is almost over. It was almost a year ago when I suddenly thought of taking my MBA. I thought of going to where the the grass was greener but I guess I'm such a true blue gal I couldn't fathom my life there (no offense to the Archers...). Instead, I ended up here in front of Greenbelt. Yup, AIM. I can't believe freshman year is finally over! I'm relieved because it means I'm half way through...and yet, until I get through my action consultancy (on-the-job-training) and my thesis, I can't celebrate yet. Business school has been really tough for me since I'm not really good with numbers. Unfortunately, there's a lot of that here. Nonetheless, I'm surviving and I've stopped questioning my fate everytime I pass. We're into our last week and I'm up to my neck with papers, presentations, and exams! Gawd! Just today, I did a presentation, submitted a paper, and did my orals in Finance. What a day! I just had to grab a beer after dinner, a reward for torturing myself.

Everytime I have a day like this, I get all existential...what is the meaning of life? Why am I here? well, you know what? I don't have the answer to those questions. I'm twenty-five and still screwed up with what I want to do with my life. I thought I could find them here...Alas! More questions abound! I would like to think that by the end of these two long years, I can say to myself..."Conci, you've finally found you're calling. Go forth and wreak havoc to the world!" But, getting out to the real world is worse now than when I finished college. Five years ago I could still make mistakes and fool around. Now, that's pretty hard to do. My parents are expecting me to be a little more mature...duh?! They would love to see my life with a better direction...well I say... I'm headed to the mall! But I think I've matured more here than in my three and a half years working. I think I could handle a lot more things better. After head-butting with forty indians, four vietnamese, a nepalese, singaporean, indonesian, and other aliens... I think I'm better prepared to deal things thrown my way.

Enough whining... I've released my philosophical musings for the day. Aaaahhh... the bed has finally called and the beer is settling in my head.

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