I'm swimming in murky waters. And I'm drowning. I'm gasping for air and flailing my arms trying to keep my head above the water.
That's what I have been feeling for the past week because of work. I'm not really affected with the changes. I have this dead-ma attitude when it comes to office politics. It's not that I think it's below me. It's just that I choose not to participate. But the stress I feel is from all the sudden changes I can't seem to keep up. Suddenly people left and right are asking for reports. I have to attend meetings that keep me from my desk almost the whole day. And still they expect me to do what I really need to do.
And then I sink for awhile. I try to feel the floor but I ran out of air. It's too deep.
I keep a smile on my face but my eyes say otherwise. I start thinking of cutting my hair again... or getting my nails done... I start craving for sweets just to get that sugar rush and feel good about myself again. That's when I know I need some semblance of order back into my life. I'm an obsessive compulsive but I can't seem to get rid of all the clutter on my desk.